BY: PHEOBE HORIBE
There’s been a lot of news circulating lately regarding the ties of former American Idol contestant and Tony nominee, Constantine Maroulis, and, well, all of the Real Housewives of New York. It seems Maroulis is quite friendly with several of the women on the show. We love RHONY and Constantine, so we’re shipping them off to Broadway together in these shows. Enjoy!
Luann de Lesseps
Have you heard about Luann’s cabaret? If not: Luann has a cabaret show. She’s been doing a cabaret show she created for the last couple of years — even at places like Feintein’s/54 Below in New York City — and Constantine has even appeared on stage with her! So, what better show for them then, well, Cabaret! Her dreams can come true as Sally Bowles, the headliner of The Kit Kat Klub. This one wrote itself.
Tinsley was a big socialite in NYC, but was always looking for her fairytale ending. This really makes her the perfect Cinderella to Constantine’s Prince Topher. We want a revival of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella with a modern, rock twist and real life princess… and by princess we mean a reality TV star.
Bethenny is a strong woman who tends to have on-again/off-again boyfriends and she loves a strong cocktail, Skinny Girl-style. We know another character who likes a strong cocktail and isn’t totally keen on settling down with one man yet; Bobbie in the revival of Company. We’d like to cast Bethenny as Bobbie and Constantine as PJ — a suave guy who loves life in New York City.
Dorinda is Ouiser from Steel Magnolias. That is all. Constantine can be Drum if he wants, but we only care about Dorinda here.
Ramona gives us some serious Tanya vibes from Mamma Mia! She’s always down for a good time and enjoys flirting with any guy that comes her way. She’s even got her own skincare line and we know how important that is to Tanya. As for Constantine, we would 100% love to see him as Sam Carmichael.
Leah isn’t like a regular mom, she’s a cool mom — a cool mom who is also a bit outrageous and usually-has-a-martini-in-hand sort of mom. So, we’re casting her as Mrs. George in Mean Girls because she just fits the bill. We don’t have a role for Constantine in this one, but she also doesn’t need a man in her life. She’s doing just fine! Well, sort of.
Sonja may or may not have partied with John F. Kennedy, Jr. (who may or may not have gone by “John John”), but those days were but a distant “memory” when she decided to revamp herself by joining the cast of The Real Housewives of New York. So, we’re casting her in Cats as none other than Grizabella herself. She just wants understanding and acceptance from the other cats–er– Housewives and to be back in the spotlight. She seems to have found her place with everyone else on the show. As for Constantine, he can be one of the other cats… whichever one he wants.
Some honorable mentions include Jill Zarin, who I think would kill it in Hello, Dolly!, and Kelly Bensimon seems perfect for Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. Now that I’m thinking about it, though, maybe we just put all these women in that show and see what happens!