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Tiger King: The Musical, Starring Kristin Chenoweth?

04.14.20

BY: PHEOBE HORIBE

Hey all you cool cats and kittens! This is beloved Broadway composer Andrew Lippa saying, “We NEED a Tiger King Musical!” Okay, this isn’t exactly what Broadway composer Andrew Lippa said, but he might as well have when he dropped the most majestic Tiger King parody a couple of days ago. Lippa–who wrote musical hits like “The Addams Family” and “The Wild Party”–now bestows us with “Little Pieces,” sung by the indefatigable Kristin Chenoweth. (Check out the commitment in that costume — yes that appears to be a funnel-neck, sequined, leopard-print blouse. It’s also worth noting that she put on a full face of makeup and feathered her hair. Just saying.) Anyway, now we have something to thank Tiger King for beyond the most amazing memes.

If for some reason you haven’t seen it because you’re too busy making your sourdough bread starter (or Six: The Musical-themed scones!), Tiger King has taken over our lives and follows the rivalry of two “big cat” owners who seem to have different views on how big cats, such as tigers, should be treated in the U.S. where they are not native. 

Zookeeper Joe Exotic makes money by putting his big cats on display in Oklahoma’s biggest zoo. Conservationist Carole Baskin owns a (debatable) sanctuary called Big Cat Rescue where she saves big cats from being exploited and abused from people. People like Joe Exotic, in her mind. Carole sounds like a cool cat, right? Well, it all seems harmless fun until we find out that Carole’s husband has been missing since 1997. 

Look, I’m no lawyer here, but let’s look at some facts from the show. Carole was the last person to see him–suspicious. Her brother is a sheriff’s deputy–easier to cover up a crime. Carole knows for a fact that she couldn’t run a hand through her meat grinder–probably because she tried (disclaimer: that’s a sort-of fact?). She also suggests the only way to get a tiger to eat someone is to cover them in sardine oil or something. WHY WOULD YOU KNOW THAT CAROLE!?

This brings us to the greatest collaboration we never knew we needed.

As you can guess, the title “Little Pieces” refers to Baskin chopping up her husband and feeding him to her cats. While we know this is a serious accusation and murder shouldn’t be taken lightly, we can say with 100% certainty that this ballad is guilty of putting a smile on our social distanced-faces. Lippa also announced there will be a video released this week! Who’s ready to see Andrew Lippa and Kristin Chenoweth turn this into a full Broadway musical? This girl.